A Strength-Based New Year!
As 2022 closes out and 2023 begins, it can be tempting to look back at the past year and only focus on the trials, tribulations, and turmoil.
Real life can be really hard and raising a neurodivergent child certainly presents no shortage of challenges.
While our minds can often shift to the negative, it's important that we make a conscious effort to look for the positive. This doesn't always come easy and might take real work for you to get the hang of it, but it's worth it!
Just as you would want with your kids, our goal as adults is to aim to be strength-based and talent-focused as possible.
What does that mean, you ask? The central idea is that we intentionally shift our perspective on what we do, and what we do well. We take stock of our strengths and how we bring value to our lives, our work, our families, our friends, and everything in between.
While reflecting on our strengths, we also make a conscious effort to focus our energy on the things that excite us and fill up our cups. We spend time exploring and developing the thoughts that draw out our curiosity, the thoughts that get us up early with a smile on our faces, the web searches that lead to more searches, etc.
We’re talking about the things that make us who we are! Our deep strengths and unique interests! They make us human. They make us unique! They make us, US!
This is diametrically opposed to a defect-based system, which seems to be everpresent in the mainstream… The deficit-based system trains our attention to where we struggle and proposes that we do focus our attention there. While there are good intentions behind this thinking, the reality is that keeping ourselves immersed in spaces where our light doesn’t shine brightly can keep us feeling down and out.
Constantly focusing on what we don’t do well isn’t helping us forge those healthy brain connections. It’s not releasing those neurotransmitters which help us to feel good and want to learn more. When we focus on the good, feel good about ourselves, accomplish goals, are seen as important by others, are accepted, and feel smart, we release neurotransmitters that help make us feel happy. Being in a deficit-based space does the opposite.
It brings on negative feelings. We are only ever seeing where we come up short. This can be really harmful in both the long and short term.
Neuroscience tells us that being steeped in a certain headspace makes it hard for us to imagine being in other headspaces. This is important to understand as it works both ways…
Focusing on our strengths and accomplishments can put us in a more positive headspace and we can actually have such powerful experiences that we have a difficult time even imagining what it is like to be down and out. However, we must take caution because the opposite is also true. Being in a defificit-based, negative headspace can make it wildly difficult for us to remember what it is to feel accomplished and happy.
As we go into this New Year, it’s important that we work really hard to be intentionally strength-based and talent-focused. Not just for ourselves, but for our kiddos, too!
Speaking of your kiddo, take a moment and go grab the whole fam and do the following exercise together. You don't need to do it as a family, but this can lead to some pretty powerful family discussions
When you look back at 2022, here are a few questions you can ask to help make this shift to a positive, strength-based focus:
What are you most proud of from this last year?
What's something you accomplished that you may not have been able to do the year prior?
Did you make a new connection to a special person in your life?
What was a big challenge that you faced and worked through in 2022?
What is something that you received accolades for this past year? (big or small)
What book, article, movie, podcast, social media group, etc. helped you to learn, reflect, and grow?
Who was an important mentor or guiding figure for you?
Taking inventory of your growth, healing, accomplishments, and more is an incredibly powerful way to take strides toward living a life where you consciously choose to see the good and grow.
As my hippie neighbor always writes in chalk on our street,
"Where the mind goes, your energy flows."
This is a powerful reminder of the power of our thoughts. What you choose to focus on affects the way you perceive and manifest your reality.
As a parent, I know your want your student to live a strength-based life, but please remember, the transition starts with you!
It's important that you give yourself grace and take a moment to realize how incredible you are! Because you are incredible!
Just the fact that you're reading this blog is a testament to your character. You're here searching for support, community, and success for your family.
Looking for a quick win: You've found it here at YSA! That's something you can celebrate! Young Scholars Academy is a virtual village dedicated to supporting your family and connecting you to mentors, experts, and a whole community of other families just like yours!
As we close out, let me remind you that you're incredibly special and absolutely amazing! You are one of a kind and you're doing something that’s absolutely amazing, learning, growing, and building your support network!
I hope that you and your family will carry these thoughts into the New Year!
PS- If you are searching for support, community, and success for your kiddo for 2023, please check out these magical winter courses!
