The Kids Are Alright – At least, They Will Be [An Open Letter]

Hey friend,

How are you? Are you doing alright? I heard you were looking at schools again for your amazing kiddo. It worked for a while, but it isn’t the best fit anymore. It sounds like the IEP process was a bear this year, and you just don’t know what to do now. I know you are worried that you might not be doing enough. 

I also know you can’t quite figure out if you are enabling or supporting. How DOES one figure that out? There are so many options, so many choices, so many ways to maybe do it wrong…

It sounds like you are tired, worried, and feeling very, very alone.

I want to give you a big hug through the computer. Parenting is so hard. Parenting kids who don’t always fit the support systems around us can be SO much harder. There is no one book for handling the myriad of ways our kids can be different. 

It can also feel like there are so many books, and they all say different things. It makes one question if there ever really IS one answer.

Deep breath, friend.

I’m here to tell you that you are doing a great job. I know you are exhausted looking at all the information and reading everything you can. It makes a difference. We can only ever do the best we can with the information we have at the time. Nobody expects you to know everything or every possible outcome. Sometimes the best decision just doesn’t pan out. That’s ok. We can always change direction.

You won’t always be in the middle of the storm. One day, you will be giving hugs and offering wisdom to another parent in the same spot. Your kids only need a few things to grow and thrive. 

Beyond the necessity for life (food, shelter, water, air, etc), they need love, they need to feel safe, they need to know someone is on their side, fighting for them. That’s you. You are the one in their corner, always and forever. You are amazing!

When the what-ifs hit you (what if my child never goes to college, what if they never tie their shoes, what if I should have kept them in fill-in-the-blank school, and on and on), remember that you don’t have to solve every problem right now. 

You don’t have to figure out all the steps from kindergarten to retirement. 

Sometimes, all you need to help a child is to just solve the next thing.

I ask you to build some space and identity what is really worrying you right now, at this moment. Is it something you can solve? If so, let’s make a plan and solve it. If not, let that worry go. It might come back, and you can honor it, but you can release it again. Your children will be alright. They have you, and as we’ve seen, you are one heck of a supporter to have!

Take care, friend.

PS- if this is validating for you, please pay it forward —> send this to 2 other people/groups who need to hear this message as much as you did, today.