What To Do When Your Child Is Twice-Exceptional

Parents come to the realization that their child might be twice-exceptional (2e) through several different paths.

For some of us, our child is identified as gifted first, and the other exceptionalities come later. For some of us, our children are diagnosed with learning differences first, and after lots of advocating or support, we may realize (or have known the whole time) about our children’s giftedness. Some of us get the whole 2e enchilada all at the same time.

No matter how you arrived here in 2e land, we appreciate you and are here to support you!

Stop me if this sounds familiar- many parents find out they have a twice-exceptional child with this incredibly unique profile and then you find yourself saying, “Ok, now what?”

Here are a few tips to make sure you are fully supporting your twice-exceptional child. (note- Let us know in the comments if you have any other tips!)

1.       Love your child where they are and as they are right now. I know this feels obvious, but sometimes the practice is a lot harder. This can mean changing expectations of what you thought your child’s future might be or how it might manifest.

This may mean that your child’s education path may be different than yours or even how you thought it might be. For many parents, the large discrepancies in strengths and challenges can be really jarring. Remember that your child is growing along their own growth path, and it’s unfair (and usually unhelpful) to compare them to standard, educational growth plans.

It’s natural to compare, but it’s not necessarily helpful… They are on their own journey, but they are not alone! It’s important to make sure they know that and that they feel it, too.

2.       Learn about your child’s challenges and how to best support them. When our children are diagnosed with a disability, the current system—the medical model—often includes a whole list of things that our children can’t do. The literature can often feel so, so overwhelming, and you may experience a whole range of feelings. It’s ok to have these feelings, but you need to process through them and remember not to place them on your child. It can be really easy to pass that hot potato right over to them and that can be incredibly harmful… It’s your job to protect them and ensure that they see their first exceptionally, their strengths, talents, gifted behaviors, interests, abilities, etc.

Children with learning differences are not broken! Let’s say that one more time. Say it along with me, will you: “Children with learning differences are not broken!” They simply navigate the world differently. Sometimes, this means that your child may need additional supports to navigate a neurotypical world. Find your child examples of adults who have the same conditions. Learn what scaffolding your child may need to meet their own goals and expectations. Whatever you do, steep them in an environment where have the 2 key ingredients for success: 1- like-minded friends and 2- neurodivergent mentors! Click here to explore that exact environment!

3.       Spend time and energy developing your child’s strengths. Yes, it’s true that by definition the 2e profile comes with both strengths and struggles, but, with work, we can choose where to focus our attention and energy. Why not choose strengths?

Strength-based learning provides your child with avenues to grow their talents, interests, and abilities. For many 2e kids, this lets them be more than a diagnosis in many ways. They can truly shine and be totally, unapologetically themselves. This is where meaning, purpose, fulfillment, and positive self-affect come in. Your child may struggle, but they have beautiful strengths, too!

Sometimes getting a specific diagnosis can feel overwhelming, not so much because it changes how we feel about our children, but rather because so much of the medical model-based society around neurodivergence is full of limitations and functional labels.

The more you can connect with adults who have lived experience with these conditions, the more you can learn affirming ways to support your child.

Do you have a 2e child who may be struggling in the face of this deficit-based system?

Now is the PERFECT TIME to plug your child into a village of Support, Love, Like-Minded Friendship, Mentoring, and Interest Exploration.

Click here to explore a community that was created for your child and will help them have fun, make friends, and thrive under the loving care of expert mentors!